I'm feeling a bit homesick. There, I said it.
Moving far away from all that you are used to brings about quite a potpourri of emotions. So far mine have mostly been scented with peacefulness, excitement, adventure, and enthusiasm. But every so often feelings of loneliness and homesickness creep into my spirit. Today is one of those days.
Today I am longing to be surrounded by all things familiar. I am aching for my old neighborhood and friends, the DDH YMCA, the streets of Grand Rapids, MI, and all things that are "home" to me. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not sulking in a puddle of tears. But I am feeling a bit melancholy.
One can argue that home can be created wherever you are. And that is certainly true. I do feel comfortable and cozy in our new home here in Fonda, NY. And I'm really am growing to love our new friends here. Seeing familiar faces at the school, the post office, the library, and the Fulton County Y, all bring me a joy. But today is a day where I don't feel like meeting new people. I don't want to introduce myself again. I don't want to introduce my family from afar. What I am craving is to sit down with an old friend, have a glass or wine, or a cup of coffee, talk with, and listen to someone who really, truly knows me. To have a friend next to me at the table who understands my sense of humor, who knows my religious and political points of view, and who will discuss a book we've both just read (because we always read the same books)...that is what my soul longs for.
Now I feel better for having written that "out loud". I will live with these feelings for as long as they persist, and I will continue to make Fonda my home. But, I will look forward to my upcoming visit to MI with greater joy. And my friends in MI will probably get really big hugs and possibly kisses in a couple weeks when we roll into town!
praying for you kim.
ReplyDeleteas well as josh, solomon, and lydia.
miss you guys!
hmmm... sounds like you are having an "I'm staying in my pajamas" kind of a day, Kim. We all have them occasionally. And we all long for that "old friend" who helps us to feel comfortable in our own skin. The cool thing is that as we go forward we keep adding to our list of "old friends" and more things on our adventure start to feel familiar. Maybe tomorrow you will have an "all is well in my village and with my soul" kind of a day. :) Thanks for writing "out loud," Kim!
ReplyDeleteRuth
We have JKSL-sickness days a lot over here. I imagine the closer you are to people the harder it is to say goodbye. So in one sense it's a good sign that you miss so much your life here in MI. Means you made deep memories that will cary you for years to come. Looking forward to that big hug and cup of coffee!
ReplyDeleteI think that's pretty normal. Isn't there a change cycle? Hold on, let me find it. Here:
ReplyDeletehttp://changingminds.org/disciplines/change_management/psychology_change/positive_change.htm
Sounds like you're just moving through the normal stages, leaving the honeymoon period.